Fell Off the Face of the Earth

fallingNo, I didn’t. Though, I’m sure some of you probably thought I had. I’ve been so consumed lately with work and then Spring Break vacation and family time, I’ve not put much focus toward writing nor blogging. However, that’s all about to change. Yes, I’m gearing up for facing sleepless nights and early mornings once again. No more sleeping in till 5 or 6 am. I’ll still be putting forth my 46+ hours of work per week, adequate time for family and then all the extras will come in within those hours while the rest of the world sleeps, and I’ll be missing those precious hours of dreaming, though they’ll still be precious, as I’ll be appointing that energy to writing daily and blogging at least once a week.

And if you haven’t figured out how crazy I am yet…

Camp NaNoWriMo, Here I come!

Yes, indeedy, I’ve lost my mind, taking the plunge of investing up to 50,000 words and finally finishing my novel (book 1) during the month of April. I’m not entirely sure it will be 50,000 words that I type during the month, as I’m half finished with book 1 already. Mostly, needing to reorganize, then finish. Certain parts need to be transferred to books 2 and 3. So, that’s my main objective for April – finishing book 1.  Then May will be spent revising, editing, proofing, polishing, employing my beta readers, querying agents/publishers, and finding representation/ publication. A little crazy?  Yes. Impossible? Never. I have reached 50,000 words before during a NaNoWriMo and Camp NaNoWriMo, so I know I can do it. Plus, it does become a bit easier once you get in the habit of getting up at 2am or 4am every morning to get in your 1,500 to 2,000 words per day.

If you are a writer and love a challenge, I encourage you to join in April’s Camp NaNoWriMo. It’s free and it’s most helpful if you need a kick in the pants to motivate you to get your rear in the chair and write a book or finish something you started. Wanna learn more about it? Check this out.

When you work from home and have a family, you set a crazy schedule that best works for you.

Here’s my schedule now:

M-F

Up, fix coffee, get ready for the day 6-7

Work 7-8

Fix breakfast and lunch for the kiddo 8-830

Work 830-430 (while walking 2 dogs every hour, it seems)

Prepare and sit down to supper 430-5 or 6-630 (depending on day)

Family time (depending on how much homework and studying Mini-me has) 5-8 or 630-9 or 10

Get ready for bed – anytime between 8 and 10, depending on what’s going on that particular day

Sometimes, it varies, though. Sometimes, I start at 4 or 5am, depending on what else I have going on that day. And if I have to be out at appointments on a particular day, I’ll spend part of Saturday morning getting the rest of my work hours. Plus, getting in a smidge of writing time on some of those mornings or evenings. Sound crazy? I rather like it, myself. It’s not that hard working in your pajamas or a t-shirt and shorts, and for clients you actually like, doing work you actually like. Plus, it’s nice setting your own schedule.

My new schedule, starting April 1, will look more like this:

M-F

Up, coffee will be ready (on auto) 4am

Write quietly (in office or livingroom) 4-6

Get ready for day 6-7

Then, everything else, and making sure I get to bed NLT 8pm, and hoping Hallie can make it to bed by then, as well

 

I’m gonna be a tired Mama-jama.  Of course, if there are appointments anywhere that day, I’ll be getting up at 2am to fit it all in, as well as getting up super early on Saturday morning. I’ve done it before.  This is not just my schedule for April but will my schedule for May, as well, since I will need to fix all the details and polish the book the month following Camp Nano. Half-way dreading it and half-way super excited to dig in!!  Are you coming to camp? Will you be joining a cabin? Look me up if you like and shoot me a message.  To message me inside the camp, I think I’m Carol-Blake or Carol_Blake. This may be my last opt-in for the cabin-mates. A couple of times, it was really great, because a couple of the bunk mates made good conversation and I made new friends (that are still friends in and out of camp) but most of the camps, the cabin was pretty quiet. Not sure that I’ll be making much conversation in April, either. We’ll see.  And good luck to you, whether you join us at camp, or not.

What are you doing in April? Got any big goals planned?  Been thinkin’ about you guys! And been missing y’all.

Chat soon! Smooches!  xoxo

-Carol

Thank you, Jesus

My second thank you letter in my 365 Thank You Letters project.

_____

My dear, sweet, loving Jesus,

jesus

How very special you are to me! I can never thank you enough for always being close by, guiding me, along with our Father’s help. Thank y’all for the employment of God’s many angels, for all our many blessings and most of all, for saving me from my sins so that I can be with you and my family in heaven one day, hopefully far, far from now. No offense. I surely will be so very happy to see you again. I just want to be around on the earth for a while so I can spend more time with my two favorite girls, witness my daughter graduate high school, then college, then her marrying the right guy, my playing ‘Nonnie’ (otherwise known as grandma) to my grandbabe(s), witness my mom turning a happy and healthy 110+, and witness so many more blessings.

Thank you for showing up at all the right times when I needed you most. I know that was you. I felt you sit on the edge of my bed and soothe the pain in my soul. You lulled me to sleep that night. Thank you for getting me out of all those bad decisions and almost bad decisions, for loving me in spite of my many weaknesses and stupidity and anger and meanness. Thank you for your forgiveness and for going to our Father on my behalf.

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When I think of what all you went through for me (for all of us), I can’t help but cry, sweet Jesus. To go through so much torture, cruelty and torment, it physically hurts my heart and body. I wish it could have gone a different way. I wish you could have saved us from our sins without going through such pain and suffering. But you did do it. And you did it for us. Because you love us. Because you’re strong and brave and your love has more courage, strength and power than any physical abuse you could have ever experienced. I know you are healed and feel no physical pain now, but my heart still aches when I think of those six hours you spent on the cross and the torture leading up to that.

Please forgive me for my sins. Please wash me as white as snow. Wash those sins away and renew me in you, sweet Brother. I belong to you and to our Father and I always will. Please help me to be more like you, fill me with your love and compassion and friendship and kindness so that I, too, can spread that love and goodness like you did and still do. Help me to be courageous and strong in spirit. Help me to have confidence so that I can do whatever it is you and our Father wish for me to do. And fill me with your strongest faith, Jesus. You are my truest hero and I will never love anyone as much as I so deeply and truly love you!!! Thank God and YOU for your beautiful soul!!

Love forever and ever till the end of time (if there is such a thing),

Carol

 

Images courtesy of http://www.akiane.com/ and photobucket.com

Living the Adventure to Completion

boots

Buried deep within the caves

The recesses of my mind

Taken there by worn tired weathered leather

And antique sheets wrapped with twine

bookandtwine

 

Past the echoes and whispers

Through the dark twisted figures

Evermore deeper still toward the dark

Torment and fear churn and shiver

darkscary

 

Not turning to whence I came

Facing the struggle and climb

Promise beckoning me adventure on

Completing the trek is mine

the end

 

365 Thank You Letters – Day One

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(WARNING:  A couple of expletives are in this post, so beware… – I’m just bein’ real, people)

Call me crazy. I had an idea last night and thought oh, what a lovely idea to thank different people throughout my life who have helped me in some way (whether directly or indirectly), and post a thank you on my blog, so maybe they’ll see it, maybe they won’t, but I’m putting the energy and positive vibes out there so the thank you is out in the universe. And, if nothing else, it might help you to accept some things that are seemingly negative that have transpired in your life and maybe this will help you see it in a different light, because I believe everything does happen for a reason. I mean, of course, I cannot make sense out of a lot of things, which I won’t even bring up, because I don’t want to get depressed, nor get you down, so…

On with it.  Day One of my 365 Thank You Letters (via blog).

By the way, this is in no certain order of importance. One person is not more important than another, except everyone knows Mama and Hallie are my number 2 people in life.

_____

Dear Sweet Beloved Heavenly Father (some of you may know him as God),

Hi. It’s me again. I’m sure you know me well from the many times per day I chat it up with you. I can imagine your eyes rolling from the many times I bug you about some of the stupidest, unimportant things I talk about. Or maybe you gently smile, just being happy to hear from me. I’m sure you’re not always happy, because you know this girl can go off and I always seem to direct my anger at you. Sorry about that. Again. Really, really sorry. You know I have anger issues. I’m trying to work on it. But it doesn’t take much sometimes to set me off. You don’t deserve the stuff I say. Again, sorry. Please forgive me. I’ll try to improve.

sadpup

I also want to thank you again. For everything. Yes, even the bad stuff. Maybe it seems like bad stuff at the time but sometimes, even years later, it turns out to be a good thing. Like the break up with him, and him, and him, and all those hims. Thank. You. God!!  I am sooooo blessed not to be with those guys anymore. Thank you for the friends I no longer have, too, because I realized what crappy friends they were. Self-serving, never encouraging, never supportive – just neglectful, selfish, angrier people than me. And that’s saying something. So thank you for even the bad stuff.

It seems when something negative is going on, my mind plays tricks on me and for some reason, I think everything is shit in my life, like all I have is bad, bad, bad, and I can’t focus on anything good. I’m really sorry about that. It’s only when I’m angry or depressed but I know my mind is being tricked, because it’s simply untrue. I have more good in my life than bad. I can’t say it’s always been that way (my life was pretty crappy before Hallie was born), but I certainly feel my life is better now than it ever was before. I have so many blessings, I cannot even count them all. No, we don’t have a ton of money and can’t afford to buy a newer car, but I can afford to put food on the table, clothes on our backs and our cars are running.That’s what’s important. And more importantly, we have each other. My girls and I are close, best friends, hang out often with each other and laugh and dance and sing and have such a great time together, we have homes, we have land, we have furbabies, we are healthy, have jobs and a good school, Hallie has a couple of sweet, good quality friends who care about her, and it doesn’t have to get better than that.

joy

I won’t take up much of your time. I know there are peeps out there who need you more than I do right now. And I know you can do everything and be everywhere at once, but honestly, I’ll cut you a break and let you tend to more important events that need your strong attention. And with that, I’d like to pray for all those lost souls who desperately need you. They are full of hate, anger, piss and venom and there’s probably nothing anyone can say to give them peace. You know they struggle. You know the reasons. I know you love them. Be there for them, Father. Help them. Ease their pain and suffering. Give them comfort. Help their hearts feel love and joy and to know laughter and happiness. And hope and faith. Let them know there is hope. Let your angels whisper in their ears like they do in mine. I used to be that lost soul, Father, as you well remember. I know we are all weak. We all fall. And I pray we all come back to you before all our hope is lost.

praying

Thank you for listening to me ramblin’ and for loving us and taking such good care of us and for your forgiveness, for the good stuff, the bad and the ugly, because it all helps build our character. I mean, I’m still here, even after I didn’t want to be here anymore. I am. And again, I ask you to use me as you have before. Use me however you wish. I belong to you forever. Even when sometimes I may not act like it, because I get pissed off for 20 minutes or an hour. I always come back, stumbling over my stupidity, but I come back. Thank you for having me, for never turning your back, even though sometimes I accused you of doing just that. I realize, at times, you have to feel a million miles away. I do know you have good reasons. I’m sure part of it is to test my faith. Wow, you’re really good at that. Seems I’m tested daily. Well, some weeks are better than others. Thank you for the good weeks. And I guess thanks for the bad ones, too, because they make me grow in different ways, building strength. I’m still here, so maybe I’m doing something right.

Anywho, I’ll close for now. You go help those peeps who need your shoulder, your ear, your gentle but firm hand. And most of all, your love.

kisses

I love you, Daddy. Thank you for always being the true Daddy I needed.

Love always and forever,

Carol

A New Day – A New Chance To Be AWESOME!

sunrise2

Hi!  How are you?  Been a bit chaotic this month?  Yeah, me too.  December is just full of busyness, buying, wrapping, cooking, eating, cleaning, decorating, and just endless going and doing.  Well, 2016 is upon us and guess what?  Yup, you guessed it, it’s time to reinvent yourself, and/or your business, and/or your passion.  Not sure what it is about the year being NEW that inspires us to make changes and goals. What’s wrong with a brand NEW day?  Like TODAY? Each day is another brand new chance to become the person we have always longed to be.  Maybe your ideals and ideas change? Then, make changes that day. Don’t wait for a new week or month or year. Make each new day a chance to begin something or start over, because that’s what happens with each sunrise – another chance.

After much confusion and busyness and chaos and depression and indecisiveness and prayer, I finally reached a decision.  I tried to be still.  Not such a good thing for me when I am keyed up, depressed and worried. Because it makes me focus more on the depression and overthinking everything rather than the doing.  I have to keep my hands busy, ya know?  I mean, meditation is a wonderful thing and I encourage everyone to practice meditation, stillness, silence, prayer, mindfulness, but, for me, meditation and stillness has to be practiced when I am not in a state of worry, panic and overthinking. Only then can I relax my mind.

Since I was 5, my lifelong love has been writing, poetry, telling stories, writing songs – creating.  The voices from my childhood get in the way sometimes, because I allow them to.  I allow them to sabotage what I love, because I think somehow I don’t deserve happiness or success or joy.  I find ways to distract myself from writing. I feel maybe I’ll never be good enough, my stories will never be good enough.

So, this vision came into play for the video series I finally started. I thought it was a beautiful vision. Everyone needs to tell their story, share their story.  We need to hear their stories and learn from them, empathize and sympathize and connect with those stories, those storytellers.  It was a beautiful project, idea, with amazing people and engaging stories.  Not sure if it was God, timing, the universe redirecting me (although I thought the universe was calibrating destiny when the project fell into place), or if it was simply a lesson or two I needed to learn by committing to the project (because I have learned a ton about myself as a result).  For whatever reason, the video project is at a stall, which is forcing me to overthink everything, like many, if not all, creatives do.  I started to realize how much I miss writing for me, telling stories, working on my novel, writing poetry, writing songs – WRITING anything for me.  I miss my characters.  I started getting hungry – hungry for words – hungry for finishing that novel – hungry to re-engage with my characters (my imaginary friends).

Not sure if we are supposed to have more than one passion that we want to pursue but all I have time for is one at a time.  To be worked in and played with around family and work.  I know I cannot do it all, so I am choosing the one thing that’s been a part of me all my life and I am making a commitment to finish this novel, then finish book 2, then book 3, then book 4.  If I never get back to the video project, then it will stay there in the back of my mind. If a miracle occurs, then I’ll have time to write and do the video project and feel utter bliss! But until that miracle happens, I will stop sabotaging my writer self, stop feeling unworthy of goodness and happiness and I will do that thing that brings me joy and release, because each day that I write, even for 30 measly minutes, I find that place of joy and release. It’s like walking through a portal to another world of magic and wonder and weightlessness. And how can I deny myself that?!

So, I am back.  I don’t know how often I will blog, because I do work a lot of hours, spend a lot of time with family and leftover time will go to writing, but I’ll do my best to check in at least once a week or more if I have time.

What are your goals/ resolutions/ changes you would like to make for yourself?  What plan of action/ attack are you strategizing?  Get ready.  You don’t have to wait for January 1. You can being implementation today.  Good luck and God speed!  If you need cheering on, holla!  If you need an accountability partner, I’m here for you.  Just drop me a comment or email me

Top 10 Clues to Cure Christmas Blues

hello

So, I’ve received all your chiming in…or Naw.

But I’ll give my 2 cents anyway.  This is Phase II that I talked about…

We are sick of Christmas.  Or we are sick of having the blues.  Or all the above.  We just wanna get through it.  Without too many tears in our wine and hopefully more than a couple of dimes to rub together.  So, what’s my cure for the Christmas blues?  Well, get a pencil and try some of these things out, ’cause I have a few.  See if they work for you.

danceout1.  DANCE!!  Don’t feel like puttin’ on your dancin’ shoes?  Well, I don’t always feel like dancing either, but when you live with a seriously crazy dancing teenager, when she says dance, you dance. Whether I feel like it, or not (not today because my little mini me is feeling icky), I get up and shake a booty.  Usually in the kitchen.  Not sure why it’s usually in the kitchen but that’s where we always seem to wind up and dance.  And sing.  Badly.  But no matter what sort of mood I’m in and no matter how tired I am, dancing always makes me feel better.  So, turn on your favorite tune that makes you wanna shake a leg, whether they be skinny chicken legs, or you leave the fat and skin on, shake it, baby, because, first of all, it’s good for you, gets that blood pumping, and second of all, it can put a smile on that face.  Oh, and if you wanna get rid of some of that flab, it’s probably one of the best exercises known to man to work up a sweat, boost your metabolism (as well as your mood), all while putting a smile on your face!  And if you have someone in the house or office just sitting around, pull ’em up there with you, because while it’s fun dancing alone, it’s more fun dancing with a friend.
bad singer
2.  SING!  Believe me, I cannot carry a tune in a bucket but when I sing, and especially when I sing loudly, it makes me laugh!  When I hear myself, it’s just hilarious. Yes, that’s how bad it sounds.  My dogs (and every other dog in a 2 mile radius) howls right along with me.  Okay, so maybe they are crying for peace and for me to shut up (likely, the case), but I’ll go on believing they are trying to sing with me.  When my daughter and I sing together (very off key), we both start belly laughing!  And if you want a little extra belly laugh, sing in the mirror!  Watch your face as you “try” to sing and if you’re a wonderful singer like we are (NOT), make yourself sing off key while looking in the mirror.

mirror

3.  LOOK IN THE MIRROR and make silly, sexy, wacky, kissie faces!  Just look at yourself.  Don’t take yourself seriously.  If you ever have taken a selfie, which it seems most of the world has, then you can hang around in the mirror for 5 minutes acting wacky.  Look as if you’re looking at someone else, trying to make them laugh.  Try the sexy look, the pouty lips, blow your mirror self a kiss, look serious, don’t laugh, try to keep a straight face, hold your hair in a certain way that makes you look like you have a mohawk, or put 10 pony tails all over your head, because THAT’S super sexy, right?  Act like you’re doing a music video and YOU are the STAR!!!

4.  If you aren’t into the Christmas lights, or Christmas movies, or Christmas music, there is no rule that you have to be.  Though it does help to realize other people do love that crazy stuff and helping them to enjoy it goes so freakin’ far.  Maybe if you try to get into it ‘for them,’ it will help you not focus on your issues or your lack of love for the holidays but refocus your energy on those other people who you love, which always seems to help me.  FOCUSING ON OTHERS and wanting to make them happy takes the pressure off of yourself and helps you to see everything in a new light.

5.  TAKING A WALK ON THE WILD SIDE, or better yet, a walk in your own back yard, in a park, in the woods, on a trail, down your country road. Just be sure you are safe, people will not hit you with their car or bike or whatever and take a nice walk OUTDOORS!  I don’t know what it is but being outside in nature, feeling the breeze on your skin, the sun in your face, the trees, leaves and grass in view, along with that amazing fresh air – well, it cleanses the senses as well as the soul.  I can get this sitting in my porch swing, listening to the birds and catching the breeze, while bundled up with a blanket and a cup of hot tea, or a walk in the back (because we live in the country), a walk to the pond and sitting on the pier to contemplate life, or just meditate.  We are trying to improve our mood, so meditation would be better than contemplating anything.   Just be close to nature and notice all the beauty that’s surrounding you.  Even if it’s cloudy or rainy or snowing, there is beauty to be had in all of that, honestly!  FIND BEAUTY everywhere you look.

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Okay, so these are my top 5 ways of finding a somewhat cheerful disposition.  Do you have any to add?

6.  Eating scrumptious food?

7.  Having a glass or two of wine?  Yeah, a little sumpin’ sumpin’ can’t hurt.  Just don’t drink and drive, because that’s – well, that’s just stupid.  And we know you’re not stupid.

8.  Look at happy pictures online.  Like – of cute babies, sweet puppies and kittens, look up funny images that are sure to make you laugh.  This has helped me.  I’ll look up crazy faces of dogs, cats and babies and it’s hilarious!  You can’t help but laugh, even if you are in the midst of tears at first!  Cracks me up every time.

funny dog

9.  Watch a funny movie!  Something with Robin Williams is THE BEST or anyone you prefer that makes you laugh so hard, your gut cramps up.

10.  And my last idea for helping you get out of the funk you’ve found yourself in?  Go volunteer.  Anywhere you like.  At a children’s hospital.  Those sweet faces love to sit in your lap and hear you read them a book!  They eat that stuff up!  Soup kitchens always need servers and it feels amazing to your heart to help those who aren’t as blessed as you are.  You might not think at this moment that you are blessed but I can promise you someone else has it so much worse than you.  When you focus on helping others, the thought of yourself and your hard times or depression/sadness/lonliness/whatever you’re going through falls away, at least for a while.  And afterwards, your heart stays lifted when you think of those people you helped.  And we all need to help others.  And we all need to feel helpful.  And our hearts can always use a lift, right?  Right.  If you need more places to volunteer, I have tons of places and things you can do, so just ask.

What else ya got?

God Whispering or is it My Own Crazy Mind?

crazy

Happy day, y’all!  And Happy Veterans Day!!  Thanks to all those who have served our country and thanks to all the family members and friends who have supported our vets!  Y’all rock!

flag

So, I realize I’ve not been writing much lately.  Seems I’ve only been trying to get the word out about my video project.  I’m coming to a rough patch.  Not sure if it’s a fork in the road, a roadblock or just a few limbs I need to get out of my way.  I’m hoping I can explain the sitch and perhaps some of you fine people can be objective and tell me what you see.

So, I work for this magazine.  I absolutely LOVE the magazine and the work I do.  Love the people I work with (remotely).  I say remotely, because the mag is in another state.  I’m freelance.  All my work and clients are in other states.  But I love my clients and all the work I do, so when my favorite client offered me more hours, how could I say no?!  For one thing, I need the money.  My car is falling apart.  I mean, why shouldn’t it be?  It’s 13 years old.  And it’s a Ford.  I will never buy another one.  Plus, the extra hours will help me with Christmas, etc.

The one downfall to the more hours thing is that it makes things a bit more difficult with my YouTube video project.  Each week, I’ll be working 46 hours per week for other clients (I cut one client loose, so I wouldn’t have 56 per week again).  Keeping the video project up and running will take 12-16 hours per week, so we’re talking 58-62 hours of work each week, but I don’t get paid for the video project.  But I love the video project and I feel I just have to do it.

Well, I don’t know if this is God trying to tell me to pause the video project or if he’s testing me to see how badly I want it.  I mean, what else could he be saying?  (1) ‘I’m going to give you all this new work so it’s nearly impossible for you to have time for your video project,’ or (2) ‘I won’t give you more than you can handle.  If you want to do this video thingy badly enough, you’ll find a way to get it all done, while also getting in your 46 hours of work each week.  You’ll be falling down tired but you got this.  You’re tough.  Show me ya want it.’

So what am I being told here?  I’m sure you don’t know anymore than I do but perhaps you can offer insight since my mind is shot right now.  I’m pretty dense sometimes.  I can be reaaaaaally slow so I may not be seeing the bigger picture.

And besides the fact that I have all these other hours, how long does it take to get the word out about a new video series?  How do you get the word out?  I know squat about what I’m doing.  I’m totally learning as I go.  So it’s amazing to me that I have any subscribers to my channel at all.  But besides social media, how do I let the world know about my YouTube video series?  Anybody that knows anything about this, please pass me some words of knowledge, because I’m lost here.  I’ve done so much reading up on this and learning new stuff, my eyes are crossed.

Wouldn’t it be awesome if The Big Dude could just lean down his sweet but big strong respected head down and say, “Here, this.  It’s this, right here.  This is what I want for you.  This is what you need to do right now.”  Or else, “No, stop.  Set it aside for now. Come back to it later.”  Or even, “No, no more.  You did what you needed to do.  I just wanted to see if you’d do what I told you to.  You did and now, stop.”

I’m so utterly confused.

coffee-crazy-woman

What is my heart and mind telling me to do?  And is it God whispering or is it my own crazy mind?

jack

My heart and mind say, “Okay, you asked for the video equipment.  God sent it to you through friends.  You asked for the right questions to ask.  God sent them.  You asked for courage and confidence.  God gave you the courage and the wee might of confidence to start this thing and request permission from establishments the allowance and space for you to conduct interviews.  Then he gave you the same to go up and ask these strangers if they’d talk to you.  That took guts.  Then, you interviewed, you made connections, you made friends, you related to people on a deeper level.  Then, you learned and are learning how to edit video.  That’s not a small task.  You finished 4.2 interviews (one got cut short due to an emergency bldg shutdown) and you put up pieces of these interviews on YouTube.  You started social media for your cause.  You’re trying to get the word out.  This is just the beginning.  These people’s stories need to be told, need to be shared. There are so many out there who need to hear these stories. So many have stories to share. Don’t stop now. This is only the beginning and when you start something new, if it is meaningful, it’s going to be harder to do it. That’s when the devil gets in your way. It’s God allowing the devil to test you. He can’t do anything without God’s permission. So withstand the tiredness, the stress, the doubt, the asking for signs and just do that friggin’ thing!  Be awesome at it, because you can be.  You are willing to learn new stuff and do new stuff and that’s the beginning of brilliance!  Don’t you know?  It all starts with an idea, a thought.  You put action toward that thought/idea, you start to make something. You learn as you go and you keep trying, you have passion, you have drive, motivation, and more than that, you have a new dream you can’t not see it in existence.  It’s just something you have to do and you don’t let anything get in the way of that. Remember what’s important: God, Jesus, your family, your dreams, and they can all go together as a combo. So, yes, Carol, it will be hard, there may be road blocks from time to time just to test you but you are tough stuff and you’ve done harder stuff than this. Get past the road block, work through it, go over it, crawl under it, move around it or bust through it with effing dynamite, but get past it and don’t stop until you reach your goals.”

So, that was a nice little chat I had with myself. I guess I should start calling this blog ‘my diary?’  Geez!  So, I guess I’ve worked through some of my issues and hope I’ve maybe helped someone else with theirs.  Who knows.  If y’all have any input on the other, like how to get the word out, I’m all ears!!  HALP?

I’ll try to stick my head in once in a while to say hello.  Sorry I’ve been tangled up in other stuff.  I miss you guys.  xoxo

kiss1

Love ya!

Carol

*smooches*

me blowing kiss