God Whispering or is it My Own Crazy Mind?


Happy day, y’all!  And Happy Veterans Day!!  Thanks to all those who have served our country and thanks to all the family members and friends who have supported our vets!  Y’all rock!


So, I realize I’ve not been writing much lately.  Seems I’ve only been trying to get the word out about my video project.  I’m coming to a rough patch.  Not sure if it’s a fork in the road, a roadblock or just a few limbs I need to get out of my way.  I’m hoping I can explain the sitch and perhaps some of you fine people can be objective and tell me what you see.

So, I work for this magazine.  I absolutely LOVE the magazine and the work I do.  Love the people I work with (remotely).  I say remotely, because the mag is in another state.  I’m freelance.  All my work and clients are in other states.  But I love my clients and all the work I do, so when my favorite client offered me more hours, how could I say no?!  For one thing, I need the money.  My car is falling apart.  I mean, why shouldn’t it be?  It’s 13 years old.  And it’s a Ford.  I will never buy another one.  Plus, the extra hours will help me with Christmas, etc.

The one downfall to the more hours thing is that it makes things a bit more difficult with my YouTube video project.  Each week, I’ll be working 46 hours per week for other clients (I cut one client loose, so I wouldn’t have 56 per week again).  Keeping the video project up and running will take 12-16 hours per week, so we’re talking 58-62 hours of work each week, but I don’t get paid for the video project.  But I love the video project and I feel I just have to do it.

Well, I don’t know if this is God trying to tell me to pause the video project or if he’s testing me to see how badly I want it.  I mean, what else could he be saying?  (1) ‘I’m going to give you all this new work so it’s nearly impossible for you to have time for your video project,’ or (2) ‘I won’t give you more than you can handle.  If you want to do this video thingy badly enough, you’ll find a way to get it all done, while also getting in your 46 hours of work each week.  You’ll be falling down tired but you got this.  You’re tough.  Show me ya want it.’

So what am I being told here?  I’m sure you don’t know anymore than I do but perhaps you can offer insight since my mind is shot right now.  I’m pretty dense sometimes.  I can be reaaaaaally slow so I may not be seeing the bigger picture.

And besides the fact that I have all these other hours, how long does it take to get the word out about a new video series?  How do you get the word out?  I know squat about what I’m doing.  I’m totally learning as I go.  So it’s amazing to me that I have any subscribers to my channel at all.  But besides social media, how do I let the world know about my YouTube video series?  Anybody that knows anything about this, please pass me some words of knowledge, because I’m lost here.  I’ve done so much reading up on this and learning new stuff, my eyes are crossed.

Wouldn’t it be awesome if The Big Dude could just lean down his sweet but big strong respected head down and say, “Here, this.  It’s this, right here.  This is what I want for you.  This is what you need to do right now.”  Or else, “No, stop.  Set it aside for now. Come back to it later.”  Or even, “No, no more.  You did what you needed to do.  I just wanted to see if you’d do what I told you to.  You did and now, stop.”

I’m so utterly confused.


What is my heart and mind telling me to do?  And is it God whispering or is it my own crazy mind?


My heart and mind say, “Okay, you asked for the video equipment.  God sent it to you through friends.  You asked for the right questions to ask.  God sent them.  You asked for courage and confidence.  God gave you the courage and the wee might of confidence to start this thing and request permission from establishments the allowance and space for you to conduct interviews.  Then he gave you the same to go up and ask these strangers if they’d talk to you.  That took guts.  Then, you interviewed, you made connections, you made friends, you related to people on a deeper level.  Then, you learned and are learning how to edit video.  That’s not a small task.  You finished 4.2 interviews (one got cut short due to an emergency bldg shutdown) and you put up pieces of these interviews on YouTube.  You started social media for your cause.  You’re trying to get the word out.  This is just the beginning.  These people’s stories need to be told, need to be shared. There are so many out there who need to hear these stories. So many have stories to share. Don’t stop now. This is only the beginning and when you start something new, if it is meaningful, it’s going to be harder to do it. That’s when the devil gets in your way. It’s God allowing the devil to test you. He can’t do anything without God’s permission. So withstand the tiredness, the stress, the doubt, the asking for signs and just do that friggin’ thing!  Be awesome at it, because you can be.  You are willing to learn new stuff and do new stuff and that’s the beginning of brilliance!  Don’t you know?  It all starts with an idea, a thought.  You put action toward that thought/idea, you start to make something. You learn as you go and you keep trying, you have passion, you have drive, motivation, and more than that, you have a new dream you can’t not see it in existence.  It’s just something you have to do and you don’t let anything get in the way of that. Remember what’s important: God, Jesus, your family, your dreams, and they can all go together as a combo. So, yes, Carol, it will be hard, there may be road blocks from time to time just to test you but you are tough stuff and you’ve done harder stuff than this. Get past the road block, work through it, go over it, crawl under it, move around it or bust through it with effing dynamite, but get past it and don’t stop until you reach your goals.”

So, that was a nice little chat I had with myself. I guess I should start calling this blog ‘my diary?’  Geez!  So, I guess I’ve worked through some of my issues and hope I’ve maybe helped someone else with theirs.  Who knows.  If y’all have any input on the other, like how to get the word out, I’m all ears!!  HALP?

I’ll try to stick my head in once in a while to say hello.  Sorry I’ve been tangled up in other stuff.  I miss you guys.  xoxo


Love ya!



me blowing kiss

Fear Can Kiss My Rear

no fear

I realize I’m a day late with my haiku this week.  Was a c-rAZY day yesterday!  2 interviews and they were back to back and I tend to get carried away when talking to people, so it went longer than 2 hours.  I’m just lucky I got home before 2pm.  Had a great time talking with these lovely people and looking forward to posting the new YouTube vid this weekend!  It’ll be a little different than the last one.  Learning as I go…

Anywho, without further ado…

I felt so much fear
God told me to get in gear
Fear can kiss my rear

Yup!  Fear can most definitely kiss my big ole rump!  I’m tired of giving him the upper hand.  It’s time to take my life back.  Whether I fear that thing or not, I’m gonna do that thing anyway!

If y’all have a haiku you’d like to share, please do!  It can be one reflecting your week or just about any old thing.  Excited to hear what you come with.

And if you happen to check out my YouTube video (1st ever), please give me some tips on how you think I can make it better.  I need all the help I can get.  Just Google “meaningoflifeinitiative youtube” or click here.

Thanks!  Love yooze guys!!  (smooches)

(Photo courtesy of Pinterest)

Flyin’ By the Seat o’ My Pants! Geez!

flying squirrel
Hey y’all! Happy Hump Day Haiku! Hope all of you cool peeps are doing well and have had an enjoyable and productive week, thus far. So, here’s my haiku. I will most likely have news to share on Friday (or before then) and a link for y’all to watch on YouTube, so hang on tight to your britches, kids, ’cause I’m flyin’ by the seat of mine!
Will be up this week
So all y’all can take a peek
Then for your critique
Whatcha got? ;) xoxo

Happy for Answered Prayers & Showers of Blessings



Good morning, sweeeeeeeeeet neighbors!!!!  Shweeeet friends!  Happy Thankful Thursday to you and I do hope you have much to be thankful for.

I will spare you the million and one things I usually name that I’m thankful for but I’ll always be adding family as that is my number 1, and my sweet friends out there like you, which are part of my number 1.  And God and Jesus that are not only part of my number 1, but part of everything I am and do.  I’m far from perfect, sooooo far, but I try hard every day to make them glad at me.  I use that phrase ‘glad at me’ as my daughter, Hallie, asked me that once when she was about 3 and I’ve never forgotten that sweet question from that precious baby, “Mama, are you glad at me?”  Oof, I’m missing her like crazy right now.  Wish I could squeeze her, but alas, she’s at school, so I have to wait till 3.  ;)

Have you ever stepped waaaaay outside your comfort zone and tried something you could never see yourself doing?  Have I told y’all about my video project?  I have been a little hushed about details as I feel talking about it beforehand sort of jinxes myself.  Perhaps that sounds odd.  I just like to be taking action doing the thing and have some sort of flow going or even be finished with a certain amount of steps before I mention.  But since I did get my first major step completed, I’ll talk a little about it.

I had a vision last year for this project.  It just popped into my little imagination.  It was so clear.  Life gets in the way and all that and it got pushed to a back burner to simmer for a while.  Well, it’s been simmering for a year and certain things came into play within the last 2 months that told me I need to get my rear in gear on this project.

I asked God, “If you want me to do this thing, please show me the way.  I cannot work 46-56 hours a week and do the project, but I do need to pay my bills, so please don’t take away any clients.”

The very next week, my biggest client cut my hours, as she needed to stay closer to her budget.  Nothing too threatening but just enough to allow me to still pay my bills (barely) and have time to go out and engage with people.  A beloved friend donated an awesome video camera for the project – a very generous donation.  Other great friends were praying for me and the project, the questions I’d ask, the interviews, the confidence, calmness, soothing of my anxiety, ’cause I was so sure I was either gonna faint or get sick.  So many amazing people believe in me and this project and it made such a difference in my taking action.  I have to say, I got close to chickening out, because of my fear and lack of confidence but I asked myself, “Do you just want to stay shut up in that house every day?  I mean, writing is awesome and it’s one of your dreams and it’s fantastic but this is a great vision, too.  What if something comes of all this?  What if people actually like it?  What if you can relate to these people on a deeper level and really connect with people?  What if people watching and listening to their stories realize they’re not so alone? What if I can (only as a go between) actually shrink the planet through connections and stories?  How cool would that be?  You can always get back to writing after you have this project up and running smoothly.”

So after 1, 2, 3, 4 rejections, I finally got a yes, and while I was interviewing this sweet person, I received several lookers-on also express interest so I’ll be going back to get more interviews!  What a wonderful interview that was yesterday!  What a wonderful lady I talked with, so deep, so compassionate, so thoughtful.  I feel like I have a bit more faith in humanity.  I feel a bit more positive about people.  I had so many great conversations with these several people yesterday and my jitters were put to rest.  So crazy, right?  I made some new friends, and this project is starting to take flight!

Now to spend the time I need editing.  But at least I have done a bit and have my feet good and wet so I know better about what I’m doing.  I cannot wait to get the videos loaded so I can share them with you guys!!!  Won’t be long now!


OH, and I’m thankful Hallie had a wonderful Sweet 16 in New Orleans.  I took her and Mama and one of Hallie’s best friends (which I also consider a daughter), Sierra, and we all had a fabulous time.  Hadn’t been in years and it’s only 2.5 hours away!  We walked and walked for miles, all day and night.  I cannot believe my baby is 16.  *sniff*

I love you guys!  xoxo

What are you thankful for today?  What great things have been going on in your life this week?


(Photos courtesy of ME – Haha! – http://www.instagram.com/carolblakesessums)

I did it!!! Thanks, God!!!


I did it today

God said to go out and play

And new friends I made


It is a new bit

I thought I couldn’t do it

Out of the park hit


He’s making me see

To live you have to be free

Drop fears within me


Hey y’all!  How ‘r’ you doin’?  I’m giddy!  Out of my mind crazy happy!  I started out excited, happy, scared to death and nervous as heck!  I have to tell you that God is so friggin’ awesome!  He filled me with the confidence and warmth I needed and soothed my nerves just enough to get through it.  And guess what?!  It was stinkin’ amazing and awesome in every way!  I found the most gracious, deep, warm, compassionate woman who agreed to interview with me and it went better than I could have ever imagined!  I also made several new friends and more people who’d like to interview when I go back next week!  How cool is that?

So, for all you out there who think you’re too old to try something new – for all those who are scared to death to face people, much less talk to them – for all those introverted people (like me) who prefer hiding rather than going out in the public and talking to perfect strangers, remember this – YOU are never too old to do something new, wild and different.  Fears are there to be faced and triumphed over.  Don’t let your fears hold you back from doing something you are drawn to do.

Now, there are healthy fears.  I mean, you will never see me jumping out of a perfectly good airplane.  Nuh-uh.

But don’t be afraid to talk to strangers.  You might just meet some incredible new lifelong friend!  I cannot get over how much this woman and I had in common with each other.  After the interview, we talked for at least an hour.  Actually, longer.  I went in at 10:30 and left after 2pm.  I believe I just made a new lifelong friend.  And several other friends.  All because I was willing to put myself out there.  Now those of you who know me – you know that’s not my comfort zone AT ALL!  But I faced my fear.  I did something I never thought I’d do and it was amazing!  And I made new friends.  And I gained more confidence in myself – something I was severely lacking.  And God helped me every step of the way!

So is there something in your mind that holds great meaning for you?  What’s stopping you from going after it?  If it’s fear, you need to look at that monster straight in the eye and say, “You ain’t stoppin’ me!  I might feel fear but I’m gonna go and do that thing anyway!  Because I know I can do it!  God will help me do it!  And Fear, I will not let you get in my way!”

Now go and do that thing!  Rock it like a boss!  And let us know how it goes because I get so tickled cheering people on!!  Whoop!  Whoop!


(Photo courtesy of redefineyourfuturenow.com)

Stopping Waiting – Just Do It!

stop looking

To do or not to

Praying for signs to play thru

Stop waiting – just do


Happy hump day haiku!  Do you have a habit of self-sabotage?  I do and I have all of my life.  Of course, I overcome it at different periods of my life, step outside my comfort zone a teensy bit and take a risk and it usually ends up with great results.  It’s scary, though, right?  Right.  But hey, what’s living really if you can’t be a little scared sometimes and take a risk?  I mean, isn’t it worth it once you’ve reached the other side and found some success?  You won’t ever know what’s waiting for you over there if you don’t at least try.  I’m talking to me here, too.

So, tomorrow is the day.  The first step toward a new dream of mine (actually it’s about a year old) and making what little impact I can with this cool idea.  I’ll keep you posted.  All prayers and positive vibes welcome in my tiny corner of the world.  Thanks guys!  Things are about to change!  YIKES!!!


If you want to throw your haiku up and share, that would be awesome!  I know we’d love to read ’em!


Fabulous Friday Eve!!


What a lovely, lovely day it has been so far.  Was hard to wake up this morning, due to hanging out late with awesome friends we can’t get enough of (you know – those friends that you just never run out of things to talk about with and things to laugh at?) and didn’t get to bed till after 11pm, so imagine how hard it was to get up and get ready for work and get the kiddo up for school.  Still, the sleepy/tired is worth it.  I spent the majority of my day running errands trying to get ready for the holiday weekend.  What holiday, you ask?  Hallie’s Sweet 16.  Perhaps it’s not a national holiday – YET, but it should be.  haha!  I’m sure you feel the same about your children or spouse or parent or someone in your life?  Some of you know her and some of you know of her as much as I talk about her on here.  That girl, oh!  She’s my heart.  So compassionate, mature, loving, forgiving, insightful, calm, level-headed, brilliant and hilarious.  Wise, even.  She’s always been wise. Just an all around great person.  She and Mama are my best friends in the world.  I know she’s changed me.  My whole life is better because of her.  She taught me how to forgive, you know?  Well, I’m gushing.  And I digress.  I was talking about my day…

I set out on this day to be positive.  I realize I don’t smile enough, so I was determined to smile more, to be and feel happy.  Excited even.  And I should be.  With all my projects going on, I should be excited!  So, I go to the post office and I don’t usually engage strangers in conversation, but figured well, that’s got to change with one of my upcoming projects, so I’ll just go ahead and start doing that right now.  This sweet lady had a Yorkie in her car and I started a conversation with her about her 15 year old sweet adorable dog, named Katie.  We must have talked for about 10 minutes.  Well, that made my day.

I set out to be positive and only believe in positivity and positive people today, because I was on a mission.  A mission to find more good people in a day than bad.  Don’t you get fed up by always being faced off with negative people?  They cut you off in traffic.  They flip you off, curse you, give you a go to you know where look, are in a hateful awful mood and it seems to be directed at you. Even when it isn’t.  I wanted different people today.  Happy people.  I wanted to see how much conversation and smiles I could get out of people.  It was a great experiment.

So then I went to repair a beloved piece of jewelry that’s just been sitting there for several months, broken, and this jeweler fixed it for me on the spot!  They told me it normally takes about a week but the lady asked the repair guy if he could solder it now since he was about to leave for the rest of the week AND HE DID!!  Less than $20 to fix it but I would have paid more, because of their generosity and Johnny-on-the-spot-ness!  While they were fixing it, I was talking with the two girls that were working and having told them where we were going this weekend, one lady told me about a special event that goes on there in October, so that was a nice tip and I came home to Google it to see if it’s going on this weekend.  It actually doesn’t begin till the end of November, but oh well, there are 100’s of awesome things to do there.

I went to Kohl’s to buy a new pair of shades as mine were all scratched up and have been for months.  I’m terrible when it comes to buying anything for myself but I finally broke down and bought this cute pair of sunglasses and they were ON SALE!  The clearance tag said $10.50 but they were actually $8.  Yes!  I used to buy Ray-Bans but after losing a pair after our canoe tipped over and sat on the second pair, no more spending big money for shades.  Nuh-uh.  The lady at the check-out was super sweet and we spoke while I was checking out.  I just love it when people are talkative. Don’t you?  I wonder if part of it was the positive energy I was putting off.  Maybe what we send out we really do get back?  Hmmm.  Something to think about.

Ran a couple of other errands and everyone was so helpful and kind, it actually blew my mind.  Is it because I focus so much of my energy toward the negative Nellies?  Those bad attitude dudes?  I let their negative energy affect my mood and then I get bratty (sounds nicer than the word I actually become).  Perhaps if I go out with the intention of smiling, talking to people, putting off good vibes, maybe, just maybe I’ll get them back.  It’s definitely worth a try.  Think I’ll try this again tomorrow.  I’ll let you know how it goes.

So what am I thankful for today?  Everything.  Absolutely everything.  I guess I’ll go get the kiddo from school in 30 minutes and then I guess I need to get some actual work done.  Yeah, that would be good.

Y’all have an amazing fun and safe weekend.  Go out there and smile more, engage people with conversation, smile while you talk, make eye contact (believe me, I know how scary THAT can be – there are some real creepers out there).  I’ll bet you have more positive experiences than negative.  Try it and let me know how it works out for you.  You know what’s REALLY fun and fills you with immense satisfaction and joy?!  When you’re going through the window or line at the coffee shop or even Mickey D’s, give the cashier $5 or $10 if you have it to spare.  Tell the cashier you’d like to put that toward the next customer.  I can’t begin to tell you how magical it’ll make you feel.  We’ve been both on the receiving and giving ends of this ‘pay it forward’ fun-ness, and I think everyone should give it a try.  Especially if you need a huge pick-me-up.

Love y’all!  *big squishie hug*  xoxo


(Photo courtesy of disneyexaminer.com)