Mistaken Identity

death

Mistaken Identity

Blasts from the chamber clanging in my ears
Smells of soot, sulfur, and paralyzing fear
Images playing in my head of all I’d held dear
As the contract had been signed
The paper had been signed and paid for
And sealed with a beer

Rifling through my purse, his eyes filled with dismay
A two-second apology and he fled into the alleyway
My purse and license tossed and at my feet they lay
Had he not meant to rob me?
Was this all just a mistake?
As my life lay in a dark parking lot to waste

-Carol Blake

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Truth in her eyes

ghostgirl

In the breath just before dawn

The hushed air as the world sleeps

Upon her cheek a golden tear fell

The smallest glimmer in a dark cold place

 

Knowing she has to face the sun

And she’ll walk and dance and play

She’ll wear a mask to cover her madness

But she cannot hide her eyes

 

It’s all right there

 

Living the Adventure to Completion

boots

Buried deep within the caves

The recesses of my mind

Taken there by worn tired weathered leather

And antique sheets wrapped with twine

bookandtwine

 

Past the echoes and whispers

Through the dark twisted figures

Evermore deeper still toward the dark

Torment and fear churn and shiver

darkscary

 

Not turning to whence I came

Facing the struggle and climb

Promise beckoning me adventure on

Completing the trek is mine

the end

 

A New Day – A New Chance To Be AWESOME!

sunrise2

Hi!  How are you?  Been a bit chaotic this month?  Yeah, me too.  December is just full of busyness, buying, wrapping, cooking, eating, cleaning, decorating, and just endless going and doing.  Well, 2016 is upon us and guess what?  Yup, you guessed it, it’s time to reinvent yourself, and/or your business, and/or your passion.  Not sure what it is about the year being NEW that inspires us to make changes and goals. What’s wrong with a brand NEW day?  Like TODAY? Each day is another brand new chance to become the person we have always longed to be.  Maybe your ideals and ideas change? Then, make changes that day. Don’t wait for a new week or month or year. Make each new day a chance to begin something or start over, because that’s what happens with each sunrise – another chance.

After much confusion and busyness and chaos and depression and indecisiveness and prayer, I finally reached a decision.  I tried to be still.  Not such a good thing for me when I am keyed up, depressed and worried. Because it makes me focus more on the depression and overthinking everything rather than the doing.  I have to keep my hands busy, ya know?  I mean, meditation is a wonderful thing and I encourage everyone to practice meditation, stillness, silence, prayer, mindfulness, but, for me, meditation and stillness has to be practiced when I am not in a state of worry, panic and overthinking. Only then can I relax my mind.

Since I was 5, my lifelong love has been writing, poetry, telling stories, writing songs – creating.  The voices from my childhood get in the way sometimes, because I allow them to.  I allow them to sabotage what I love, because I think somehow I don’t deserve happiness or success or joy.  I find ways to distract myself from writing. I feel maybe I’ll never be good enough, my stories will never be good enough.

So, this vision came into play for the video series I finally started. I thought it was a beautiful vision. Everyone needs to tell their story, share their story.  We need to hear their stories and learn from them, empathize and sympathize and connect with those stories, those storytellers.  It was a beautiful project, idea, with amazing people and engaging stories.  Not sure if it was God, timing, the universe redirecting me (although I thought the universe was calibrating destiny when the project fell into place), or if it was simply a lesson or two I needed to learn by committing to the project (because I have learned a ton about myself as a result).  For whatever reason, the video project is at a stall, which is forcing me to overthink everything, like many, if not all, creatives do.  I started to realize how much I miss writing for me, telling stories, working on my novel, writing poetry, writing songs – WRITING anything for me.  I miss my characters.  I started getting hungry – hungry for words – hungry for finishing that novel – hungry to re-engage with my characters (my imaginary friends).

Not sure if we are supposed to have more than one passion that we want to pursue but all I have time for is one at a time.  To be worked in and played with around family and work.  I know I cannot do it all, so I am choosing the one thing that’s been a part of me all my life and I am making a commitment to finish this novel, then finish book 2, then book 3, then book 4.  If I never get back to the video project, then it will stay there in the back of my mind. If a miracle occurs, then I’ll have time to write and do the video project and feel utter bliss! But until that miracle happens, I will stop sabotaging my writer self, stop feeling unworthy of goodness and happiness and I will do that thing that brings me joy and release, because each day that I write, even for 30 measly minutes, I find that place of joy and release. It’s like walking through a portal to another world of magic and wonder and weightlessness. And how can I deny myself that?!

So, I am back.  I don’t know how often I will blog, because I do work a lot of hours, spend a lot of time with family and leftover time will go to writing, but I’ll do my best to check in at least once a week or more if I have time.

What are your goals/ resolutions/ changes you would like to make for yourself?  What plan of action/ attack are you strategizing?  Get ready.  You don’t have to wait for January 1. You can being implementation today.  Good luck and God speed!  If you need cheering on, holla!  If you need an accountability partner, I’m here for you.  Just drop me a comment or email me

Fear Can Kiss My Rear

no fear

I realize I’m a day late with my haiku this week.  Was a c-rAZY day yesterday!  2 interviews and they were back to back and I tend to get carried away when talking to people, so it went longer than 2 hours.  I’m just lucky I got home before 2pm.  Had a great time talking with these lovely people and looking forward to posting the new YouTube vid this weekend!  It’ll be a little different than the last one.  Learning as I go…

Anywho, without further ado…

I felt so much fear
God told me to get in gear
Fear can kiss my rear

Yup!  Fear can most definitely kiss my big ole rump!  I’m tired of giving him the upper hand.  It’s time to take my life back.  Whether I fear that thing or not, I’m gonna do that thing anyway!

If y’all have a haiku you’d like to share, please do!  It can be one reflecting your week or just about any old thing.  Excited to hear what you come with.

And if you happen to check out my YouTube video (1st ever), please give me some tips on how you think I can make it better.  I need all the help I can get.  Just Google “meaningoflifeinitiative youtube” or click here.

Thanks!  Love yooze guys!!  (smooches)

(Photo courtesy of Pinterest)

Flyin’ By the Seat o’ My Pants! Geez!

flying squirrel
Hey y’all! Happy Hump Day Haiku! Hope all of you cool peeps are doing well and have had an enjoyable and productive week, thus far. So, here’s my haiku. I will most likely have news to share on Friday (or before then) and a link for y’all to watch on YouTube, so hang on tight to your britches, kids, ’cause I’m flyin’ by the seat of mine!
 
Will be up this week
So all y’all can take a peek
Then for your critique
 
Whatcha got? 😉 xoxo

Stopping Waiting – Just Do It!

stop looking

To do or not to

Praying for signs to play thru

Stop waiting – just do

_____

Happy hump day haiku!  Do you have a habit of self-sabotage?  I do and I have all of my life.  Of course, I overcome it at different periods of my life, step outside my comfort zone a teensy bit and take a risk and it usually ends up with great results.  It’s scary, though, right?  Right.  But hey, what’s living really if you can’t be a little scared sometimes and take a risk?  I mean, isn’t it worth it once you’ve reached the other side and found some success?  You won’t ever know what’s waiting for you over there if you don’t at least try.  I’m talking to me here, too.

So, tomorrow is the day.  The first step toward a new dream of mine (actually it’s about a year old) and making what little impact I can with this cool idea.  I’ll keep you posted.  All prayers and positive vibes welcome in my tiny corner of the world.  Thanks guys!  Things are about to change!  YIKES!!!

_____

If you want to throw your haiku up and share, that would be awesome!  I know we’d love to read ’em!

xoxo