A New Day – A New Chance To Be AWESOME!

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Hi!  How are you?  Been a bit chaotic this month?  Yeah, me too.  December is just full of busyness, buying, wrapping, cooking, eating, cleaning, decorating, and just endless going and doing.  Well, 2016 is upon us and guess what?  Yup, you guessed it, it’s time to reinvent yourself, and/or your business, and/or your passion.  Not sure what it is about the year being NEW that inspires us to make changes and goals. What’s wrong with a brand NEW day?  Like TODAY? Each day is another brand new chance to become the person we have always longed to be.  Maybe your ideals and ideas change? Then, make changes that day. Don’t wait for a new week or month or year. Make each new day a chance to begin something or start over, because that’s what happens with each sunrise – another chance.

After much confusion and busyness and chaos and depression and indecisiveness and prayer, I finally reached a decision.  I tried to be still.  Not such a good thing for me when I am keyed up, depressed and worried. Because it makes me focus more on the depression and overthinking everything rather than the doing.  I have to keep my hands busy, ya know?  I mean, meditation is a wonderful thing and I encourage everyone to practice meditation, stillness, silence, prayer, mindfulness, but, for me, meditation and stillness has to be practiced when I am not in a state of worry, panic and overthinking. Only then can I relax my mind.

Since I was 5, my lifelong love has been writing, poetry, telling stories, writing songs – creating.  The voices from my childhood get in the way sometimes, because I allow them to.  I allow them to sabotage what I love, because I think somehow I don’t deserve happiness or success or joy.  I find ways to distract myself from writing. I feel maybe I’ll never be good enough, my stories will never be good enough.

So, this vision came into play for the video series I finally started. I thought it was a beautiful vision. Everyone needs to tell their story, share their story.  We need to hear their stories and learn from them, empathize and sympathize and connect with those stories, those storytellers.  It was a beautiful project, idea, with amazing people and engaging stories.  Not sure if it was God, timing, the universe redirecting me (although I thought the universe was calibrating destiny when the project fell into place), or if it was simply a lesson or two I needed to learn by committing to the project (because I have learned a ton about myself as a result).  For whatever reason, the video project is at a stall, which is forcing me to overthink everything, like many, if not all, creatives do.  I started to realize how much I miss writing for me, telling stories, working on my novel, writing poetry, writing songs – WRITING anything for me.  I miss my characters.  I started getting hungry – hungry for words – hungry for finishing that novel – hungry to re-engage with my characters (my imaginary friends).

Not sure if we are supposed to have more than one passion that we want to pursue but all I have time for is one at a time.  To be worked in and played with around family and work.  I know I cannot do it all, so I am choosing the one thing that’s been a part of me all my life and I am making a commitment to finish this novel, then finish book 2, then book 3, then book 4.  If I never get back to the video project, then it will stay there in the back of my mind. If a miracle occurs, then I’ll have time to write and do the video project and feel utter bliss! But until that miracle happens, I will stop sabotaging my writer self, stop feeling unworthy of goodness and happiness and I will do that thing that brings me joy and release, because each day that I write, even for 30 measly minutes, I find that place of joy and release. It’s like walking through a portal to another world of magic and wonder and weightlessness. And how can I deny myself that?!

So, I am back.  I don’t know how often I will blog, because I do work a lot of hours, spend a lot of time with family and leftover time will go to writing, but I’ll do my best to check in at least once a week or more if I have time.

What are your goals/ resolutions/ changes you would like to make for yourself?  What plan of action/ attack are you strategizing?  Get ready.  You don’t have to wait for January 1. You can being implementation today.  Good luck and God speed!  If you need cheering on, holla!  If you need an accountability partner, I’m here for you.  Just drop me a comment or email me

Top 10 Clues to Cure Christmas Blues

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So, I’ve received all your chiming in…or Naw.

But I’ll give my 2 cents anyway.  This is Phase II that I talked about…

We are sick of Christmas.  Or we are sick of having the blues.  Or all the above.  We just wanna get through it.  Without too many tears in our wine and hopefully more than a couple of dimes to rub together.  So, what’s my cure for the Christmas blues?  Well, get a pencil and try some of these things out, ’cause I have a few.  See if they work for you.

danceout1.  DANCE!!  Don’t feel like puttin’ on your dancin’ shoes?  Well, I don’t always feel like dancing either, but when you live with a seriously crazy dancing teenager, when she says dance, you dance. Whether I feel like it, or not (not today because my little mini me is feeling icky), I get up and shake a booty.  Usually in the kitchen.  Not sure why it’s usually in the kitchen but that’s where we always seem to wind up and dance.  And sing.  Badly.  But no matter what sort of mood I’m in and no matter how tired I am, dancing always makes me feel better.  So, turn on your favorite tune that makes you wanna shake a leg, whether they be skinny chicken legs, or you leave the fat and skin on, shake it, baby, because, first of all, it’s good for you, gets that blood pumping, and second of all, it can put a smile on that face.  Oh, and if you wanna get rid of some of that flab, it’s probably one of the best exercises known to man to work up a sweat, boost your metabolism (as well as your mood), all while putting a smile on your face!  And if you have someone in the house or office just sitting around, pull ’em up there with you, because while it’s fun dancing alone, it’s more fun dancing with a friend.
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2.  SING!  Believe me, I cannot carry a tune in a bucket but when I sing, and especially when I sing loudly, it makes me laugh!  When I hear myself, it’s just hilarious. Yes, that’s how bad it sounds.  My dogs (and every other dog in a 2 mile radius) howls right along with me.  Okay, so maybe they are crying for peace and for me to shut up (likely, the case), but I’ll go on believing they are trying to sing with me.  When my daughter and I sing together (very off key), we both start belly laughing!  And if you want a little extra belly laugh, sing in the mirror!  Watch your face as you “try” to sing and if you’re a wonderful singer like we are (NOT), make yourself sing off key while looking in the mirror.

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3.  LOOK IN THE MIRROR and make silly, sexy, wacky, kissie faces!  Just look at yourself.  Don’t take yourself seriously.  If you ever have taken a selfie, which it seems most of the world has, then you can hang around in the mirror for 5 minutes acting wacky.  Look as if you’re looking at someone else, trying to make them laugh.  Try the sexy look, the pouty lips, blow your mirror self a kiss, look serious, don’t laugh, try to keep a straight face, hold your hair in a certain way that makes you look like you have a mohawk, or put 10 pony tails all over your head, because THAT’S super sexy, right?  Act like you’re doing a music video and YOU are the STAR!!!

4.  If you aren’t into the Christmas lights, or Christmas movies, or Christmas music, there is no rule that you have to be.  Though it does help to realize other people do love that crazy stuff and helping them to enjoy it goes so freakin’ far.  Maybe if you try to get into it ‘for them,’ it will help you not focus on your issues or your lack of love for the holidays but refocus your energy on those other people who you love, which always seems to help me.  FOCUSING ON OTHERS and wanting to make them happy takes the pressure off of yourself and helps you to see everything in a new light.

5.  TAKING A WALK ON THE WILD SIDE, or better yet, a walk in your own back yard, in a park, in the woods, on a trail, down your country road. Just be sure you are safe, people will not hit you with their car or bike or whatever and take a nice walk OUTDOORS!  I don’t know what it is but being outside in nature, feeling the breeze on your skin, the sun in your face, the trees, leaves and grass in view, along with that amazing fresh air – well, it cleanses the senses as well as the soul.  I can get this sitting in my porch swing, listening to the birds and catching the breeze, while bundled up with a blanket and a cup of hot tea, or a walk in the back (because we live in the country), a walk to the pond and sitting on the pier to contemplate life, or just meditate.  We are trying to improve our mood, so meditation would be better than contemplating anything.   Just be close to nature and notice all the beauty that’s surrounding you.  Even if it’s cloudy or rainy or snowing, there is beauty to be had in all of that, honestly!  FIND BEAUTY everywhere you look.

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Okay, so these are my top 5 ways of finding a somewhat cheerful disposition.  Do you have any to add?

6.  Eating scrumptious food?

7.  Having a glass or two of wine?  Yeah, a little sumpin’ sumpin’ can’t hurt.  Just don’t drink and drive, because that’s – well, that’s just stupid.  And we know you’re not stupid.

8.  Look at happy pictures online.  Like – of cute babies, sweet puppies and kittens, look up funny images that are sure to make you laugh.  This has helped me.  I’ll look up crazy faces of dogs, cats and babies and it’s hilarious!  You can’t help but laugh, even if you are in the midst of tears at first!  Cracks me up every time.

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9.  Watch a funny movie!  Something with Robin Williams is THE BEST or anyone you prefer that makes you laugh so hard, your gut cramps up.

10.  And my last idea for helping you get out of the funk you’ve found yourself in?  Go volunteer.  Anywhere you like.  At a children’s hospital.  Those sweet faces love to sit in your lap and hear you read them a book!  They eat that stuff up!  Soup kitchens always need servers and it feels amazing to your heart to help those who aren’t as blessed as you are.  You might not think at this moment that you are blessed but I can promise you someone else has it so much worse than you.  When you focus on helping others, the thought of yourself and your hard times or depression/sadness/lonliness/whatever you’re going through falls away, at least for a while.  And afterwards, your heart stays lifted when you think of those people you helped.  And we all need to help others.  And we all need to feel helpful.  And our hearts can always use a lift, right?  Right.  If you need more places to volunteer, I have tons of places and things you can do, so just ask.

What else ya got?

Is it the holidays or just me?

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Take into account I’ve already had 2 glasses of good wine so I may be a bit too honest. But is it the holidays or just me?  Okay, I realize it’s not just me.

Most of us get the holiday blues. We must understand and remedy (or try) this as best we can, yes? Because, hello!? It’s bloody Christmas and we should be effing joyful and not half drunk and sappy, yes?  Yaaas!  So, to pull apart these feelings to further understand them…we’ll call this Phase I.

Phase 2 can be in 2 days once we’ve received the hoorah from all of you that would like to chime in with all your ho ho f***ing jolly ho and tell me how you really feel.  Just being authentic here…  In the moment…

So why have we fallen into the deep dark abyss we call the Christmas blues?

1) We’ve lost a loved one – yes, they’ve moved on. Either they’ve gone to the other side or they broke up with us or ended our marriage. You thought they’d be there forever, right?!  Well, we were wrong. And it hurts. Deeply. More concretely and breathtakingly than anyone can possibly imagine.

But I get you. Been there. Done all of that. It sucks. You think one day you’ve finally gotten a hold on it and you’re good.  Right?  Then Christmas comes along and rears its ugly head and it’s all fresh again. As if it happened yesterday. I mean, it happened 13 effing years ago or longer. But, well… Here you go. It might as well have been yesterday.

Because, duh, we miss ’em. They should be with us, celebrating, laughing, filled with glee, but they’re not. And ya know what? I know you know what. It feels like shit!

And reason #2) You’re po.  Downright poor! You barely get by paying your bills just by the skin of your teeth! Skin? We have skin on our teeth now? Om, no.

And Christmas is now? I mean, yes, I realize it’s been in the STUPIDDD department stores since July but, oh, I tried not to realize it’s December. Actually, all my months run together, thanks to those Christmas in July ads.

So, I just figured I’d have another 6 months to try to scrimp and save for what everyone wants – at least the top 3 on their wish lists, because God (no offense) knows that’s what it’s all about.

3) You are not a Christian, you don’t follow Jesus and don’t get, nor have you ever gotten the whole celebration, overspending, overeating, glad tidings of it all.

Om, I don’t know where to go with this one… Because, well, even half drunk and pissed off as I am as loved ones absent, po as I am and the commercialization of it all, I still do get the whole Jesus thing, so I cannot empathize with you on that one, I do try to take into account of the real reason we have Christ-mas.

It is hard to focus on just the one main reason sometimes, though, right?!  We are human. We hurt. It sucks. Most of us love Jesus. It’s not about dissing the main dude and especially on his birthday. It’s not about that.

We forget what it’s REALLY about. Maybe ’cause of our ego, we’re selfish. We want our peeps and to have more moola. 

And because crap seems to happen at Christmas and when it does, it’s 10 times worse crappy than if the crap fell in your lap in May.

So, for Phase I, why are YOU feeling the Christmas blues? Tell me. Lay it all out there. I realize it’s THE most heart-wrenching, stabbing, melting your soul and your brain like hot butter (or it can feel that way) time of year.

Maybe by Phase 2 or 3, we can remedy our blues (or try our best) before Christmas Eve. So, lay it on me.  Just be real. Be authentic. Share your truth. We are listening.

And we (I) will do our best to help you/us all through it with at least a pirate smile on our faces. We’re in this together.

What’s My Name?

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Okay, so a call to action:

For those people who have an occasional good idea, I’d be interested in hearing what you can come up with for a new name. Meaning Of Life Initiative is a mouthful and I’m looking for a name that’s 2 or 3 syllables. Preferably one word.

If you haven’t watched any of the videos, they are about people, their stories, their views, they are opening themselves up to you so that you can relate to them, perhaps hear your own story in theirs, feel for them, it’s about creating a connection. They are sharing their truth.

If you come up with a name for renaming my project, I’d be over the moon to hear it!!

I’ve received a couple of cool names, thus far, so I’ll sit with them and let them simmer, but I’m open to hear all the ideas you come up with.  Thank you muchly!!  xoxo

-Carol