Trying to Learn to Be Still, like I have a Choice

meditation

I realize I’ve been MIA for a while.  Sorry ’bout that.  A lot going on.  Working more than 40 hours a week, plus the video project (though that’s on hold, currently), Thanksgiving holidays, chasing after a very busy teenager, etc.

So I’m in a state of busyness and stillness, which is a bit of contradiction so let me explain.   Busy with work – super busy, but I love it.  Over 46 hours each week but I love my clients and what I do so it doesn’t feel like work.  The YouTube video thing started off pretty strong.  I got 5 ladies who were willing to interview, which is awesome, but then it’s calmed down quite a bit, so I’m unsure what’s next with this.  I thought of taking to the streets but I’m wondering if I’d be putting myself in danger with this.  You know… People.  Be.  Crazy.

So, a contact/friend of mine that works for the local paper who prints my monthly column is posting info about my project in order to get people to contact me instead of me going out trying to find people.  I’m hoping this works well.  I tried contacting different schools (public and private) but either they have stipulations that do not allow media or either they never wanted to return my emails nor phone calls.  Nice, huh?  I’d prefer a NO to nothing at all.  The principal of the local intermediate school was most gracious in the explanation as to why they couldn’t let me film the children.  I totally get it.

But I still need to interview some men and children, all people, from all walks of life.  I’m hoping and praying I get some positive feedback from the print out in the paper that should be coming out by tomorrow.  I’ll check out some local charitable organizations that help the homeless and see where I can get with that since I’m guessing they aren’t getting my emails – I’m thinking most email goes to spam, even though my name is part of the email.  Oh well.  We’ll see.  Or they could be like me and never check their email.  I check one, in particular, but the others?  Well, I’m way behind on those.  I only have so much time to do everything, ya know?  Yeah, I know ya feel me.  I know you’re busy, too.  Tis the season.  Every day.

As for my book, I had to stop working on that to pursue this video project thingy, so that’s at a standstill also.  Don’t you just wish sometimes God would lean his head down and tell you what it is you need to do now?  Like, “Wait on this.  Do this.”  Or, “forget about that, do this.”  Or, “you need to find time to do all of it.  Figure out a schedule where you can fit 46+ work hours in, 12 hours of interviewing and editing and posting video, and put in time for family and finishing your book.”  So, God, can you please add more hours to each week?  Some things I will not skimp on and that’s family time.  And my work.  And anything else that I care about, but I don’t have time for everything I care about so I have to sacrifice a little, right?  I don’t want to kill myself over stretching myself so thin that I don’t sleep.

Argh!  So much to figure out.  But all I can do at this point is wait on the creative projects until I guess a week after the piece comes out in the paper.  If I haven’t gotten calls in a week, nobody is gonna call.  I’m thinking I may get too many calls and then every week (one day per week) will be booked for months, which would be truly awesome!  At the same time, my writing will suffer, because no extra time to work on that book.  Bummer.  Sometimes, I truly do not know what the most important thing is.  I’m guessing the video thing is because it’s helping people, even though it hasn’t had as much exposure as I would have liked but perhaps once I get the videos and channel more out there and work on my editing skills, improving those as I go along, I think people’s stories will help others.  Telling your story helps you and hearing other’s stories helps you, so it’s a win-win, right?  How can sharing stories be wrong?  I felt I was answering the vision God put in my head.  But if all I get is a standstill, what does that tell me except to be still.  It’s like being in the military all over again.  Hurry up and wait.  Do it but wait.  Not dissing the military but they can be pretty slow when completing certain tasks, just like the government and pretty much anything else in life, right?  Hurry up and wait.  Lovely.  I did NOT pray for patience even though I know I need it.  I suppose I didn’t have much extra time this past week to interview and this week is stacked pretty high except for Friday, so we’ll see what happens.

Prayers and positive vibes are all welcome treasures, if you don’t mind.  I could use some of each.  For now, I’ll just work and press on and pray and hope I get some nice calls from some cool people and I’ll keep you posted.  I’ll try to do better about posting to the blog, too.  I may not do the hump day haiku unless I get feedback from some peeps who are truly interested in reading and participating with those.  Maybe I’ll get back to Thankfulness Thursday.  It’s pretty important to remain thankful every day.  Helps to just get through life, ya know?  I thought about adding something on Monday and Friday but I’ll get back to you on that.

So how was your Thanksgiving?  Or Friendsgiving?  Or do you not celebrate either?  I realize it’s not for everyone and not every county celebrates Thanksgiving.  I cooked a good bit and ate a great bit!  Still have leftovers.  I got my bootie on that treadmill a little while ago and walked and ran and I plan to do that again 2 or 3 times today.  Tell me about your long weekend and how you celebrated or if you did.  I miss chatting with you guys and I hope you are well!!  Ready for Christmas?  Haha!

Love you!

Carol  xoxo

 

Photo courtesy of collective-evolution.com

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One thought on “Trying to Learn to Be Still, like I have a Choice

  1. cobbies69 says:

    I truly wish you all the luck in the world, and with your dedication you will succeed. My project up until Xmas is keeping me away but after hopefully will get back on my horse. [never ridden a horse in my life] Daughter away for the weekend, man they grow up fast..I had a relaxing and pleasant one. Weather is crappy as usual. Take care and welcome always.

    Like

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