Fighting to find Thankfulness

thanks1

Okay, so here we go with Thankful Thursday again.  I actually found a lot this morning to be thankful for.  Then, I took my car to the shop since it’s been parked for about 2 months, because of a scratching sound, to find out I need a new drive shaft or something dealing with the back end of my car – I can’t repeat all the lingo.  $1100 to $1200.  I don’t have that money laying around.  I mean, honestly, I’m a divorced/single mom of a busy teen, paying for half of academy tuition (thank you, ex-hub), paying all the bills, etc. and now I have to come up with that.

Well, all the ex-friends of the family thing and all of that issue finally simmered down and is chill now.  Thank you, God.  Yes, I’m angry with You, but I’m still thanking You, because that was a rough situation for the fam.  Well, one family member in particular but when you mess with one, you mess with us all.

Now this.  So I brought the car back home.  Thank God that Hallie has a little 2-person truck we can use till I can save up enough to fix it.  It’s just one thing after the other.  So now I just want to cry.  I’m tired and I’m stressing and depressing and angry and sad.  Tears might make me feel better.  I’m out of wine.  *sniff*

Still, this is about being thankful.  So, even though I’m a bit irritated with God, I will exercise my thankfulness, because as we all know, it can be heaps worse, and if we look for the good in the situations, we can most assuredly find some positives.

I’m thankful we can use Hallie’s truck to get her to school and home and youth group and everywhere else I need to get her off to.  I’m thankful we can use Mama’s car to go get groceries (she’s right next door).  I’m thankful we have a home and land and good school for Hallie to go to.  I’m thankful for our good health.  For people who are actually our friends and love us and defend us and the truth.  For Jesus.  For Hallie.  For Mama.  Friends.  Writing.  Working from home.  For living my dream (or part of my dream).  For all my dreams to be answered but one, which is a ton!  For having amazing, awesome clients, who I love and adore and I love the work I do, which doesn’t even feel like work.  I know I’m blessed.

So now I realize how much I have instead of how much I don’t.  I need to focus on all the good.  Being ever mindful.  I lost it for a moment.  I forgot myself.  Forgot my tons of blessings God has showered us with.  So I’m good now.  I suppose next time when I feel the need to vent, I’ll write down every good thing I can find about my life, ’cause then maybe I won’t feel like venting.  I’ll be filled up with goodness and thankfulness and appreciation and love and adoration for all He has overflowed my cup with.

Thank You, Father!  You are the biggest blessing of all.  Your love for me – for us.  I know you love us.  I feel it in my soul.  Thank you for all these reminders and more.  Oh, and sorry for stressing and depressing.  I still might cry just to get this tension out of my muscles if you don’t mind but I’m better now.  Never stop your whispers.  Sorry for being angry with you.  I know you give me more good than bad.  Thanks for all of it.  The good and the bad.  You use it all.  I love you, too.

Okay, so what are you thankful for today?  Or for this past week, so far?

 

(Photo courtesy of prima.typepad.com)

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s