Losing My Mind! Can’t Think Straight!


Do you ever have those days where you have a jillion things to do, yet your mind will not play nicely with the busyness of your body?  Ugh.  This was my day.  It’s amazing to me that I can even function properly as an Action Planner/Personal Assistant (this is for a couple of clients), because I’m so ADD/ADHD, it ain’t even funny.

I had two contracts to work on today (not APPA, thankfully).  They’re flexible so I can work on one first thing in the morning while I slurp down my coffee and get it done while still trying to pry my eyes open.  Oh, I’m an early bird if you didn’t know.  Early to bed (usually) and early to rise (om…, usually).  Like bed at 8pm, up at 4am sort of thing.  Only the last couple of days, it’s been bed at 11pm and up at 7am sort of thing.

I digress.

And the other contract, I work on here and there throughout the day.  However…

Today, the voices in my head will not stop talking!!  I mean, it’s great — sometimes, when I have the time to write it down (or type it down).  They always want to chit chat at the most inopportune moments — while I’m mowing the lawn, working in the yard, washing dishes, cooking, driving, working, on the treadmill, in the bathtub, out somewhere with the family, or in the midst of sleeping at 2am.  Why is that?  Why is it when I have planned to sit down and write, they are a little slow to speak up.  They get shy?  They go on vacation?  Taking the day off?  What?!  Oh sure, 30 minutes into it, I find my mojo, but what about being loud and proud like they were during all those other times?  It’s like ghosts are haunting me and trying to drive me crazy.

OH, I’m not crazy, by the way.  Oh, the voices?  Yes, *ahem* I hear voices.  They are my imaginary friends.  They’re the characters that swarm me and have been for what, 2 years now?  See, I started this novel about 2 years ago and that has turned into 4 books now, and I’m still not even finished with the first.  The others have bits and pieces.  It’s funny, because I’d stifled the voices for so long because I had NO free time to write much of anything.  And now that I’m MAKING time, they spew their words like drizzly rain — you try to catch it all but most of it seems to slip through your fingers and what you do catch is just a smidgen of what they were trying to say.

I mean, how many others out there go through this?  It’s like the novel you’re writing is playing like a movie in your head.  The scenes are set, the smells, the colors, the breeze, evening damp air, the faces, the clothes, even music plays in the scene — you can nearly taste it and can actually taste it when one of your characters is munching.  Then they start talking to each other and you cannot type fast enough.  I have even tried to use a handheld mini cassette recorder (yes, I’m old school — so what?!) but (a) I cannot stand to hear my own voice (I’m a USA southern country girl) and (b) if I’m talking, I can’t hear the characters talking.  It’s a mad cycle.  It’s no wonder most, if not all, writers are a bit cray-cray (don’t tell my daughter I said that — she will hurt me).

So today was work, work, do other stuff, write, work, stop, write, work, bake, work, write, cook, eat and visit, work, write, work and now you.  I’ve had enough.  I’m going to bed.

Does this happen to you?



Photo courtesy of adrenalfatiguesolution.com


Author: Carol B Sessums

Writer, Editor, Coffee Addict, Lover of Mountains. Lives to shrink the planet, one story and connection at a time.

4 thoughts on “Losing My Mind! Can’t Think Straight!”

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