Love Thyself

“Over the years, I have come to realize that the greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity, or power, but self-rejection. Success, popularity, and power can indeed present a great temptation, but their seductive quality often comes from the way they are part of the much larger temptation to self-rejection. When we have come to believe in the voices that call us worthless and unlovable, then success, popularity, and power are easily perceived as attractive solutions. The real trap, however, is self-rejection. As soon as someone accuses me or criticizes me, as soon as I am rejected, left alone, or abandoned, I find myself thinking, “Well, that proves once again that I am a nobody.” … [My dark side says,] I am no good… I deserve to be pushed aside, forgotten, rejected, and abandoned. Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the “Beloved.” Being the Beloved constitutes the core truth of our existence.”
Henri J.M. Nouwen

__________

Wow, how much I sound like Mr. Nouwen when it comes to believing in the negative voices!  However, I don’t even need those other voices.  I have my own and it can be plenty negative enough.  Some days, I feel I love myself, even like myself.  Other days, when things aren’t going so well for me, I tend to fall into that dark trap of my own inner voice – me, telling myself I’m worthless.  I’m so thankful that I do have many positive people, things and places in my life that bring me much happiness, joy, encouragement and comfort.

Now, if I could just get to that place of a true self-love the majority of the time, that would be amazing.  It’s great to have others that lift you up and love you and like you but it’s even more valuable to lift yourself up and believe – really BELIEVE you are awesome.  Even amazing, talented, worthy of great things, you’re fun, intelligent and you add so much to the world.

How is it easier to feel the bad stuff about yourself?  You can lift others up but not yourself.  Why is it easier to believe the bad stuff and not more of the good, the positives?

Do you feel like you love yourself most days?  Do you like yourself?  What are 3 things that you like about yourself, about what you do or what you’re good at?  This is not an exercise in narcissism but rather an exercise in self-love and self-nurturing.  We need to believe in ourselves more.

Mine?  Hmm.  (1) I’m a good mom for the most part but there is always room for improvement; (2) I’m a good cook but there’s always room for improvement; and (3) I’m a good daughter for the most part but (I’ll say it again) there is always room for improvement.

What are your 3 things?  Can you come up with more?  If you come up with more than 3, you get a giant gold star!!!  🙂

Love you guys!  Make this an AMAZING day, because YOU are already awesome!  *smooch*

-Carol

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6 thoughts on “Love Thyself

  1. leneijapan says:

    Love your neighbor as yourself – it was one of the things I struggled a great deal with some time back. Really struggled… it feels so weird to love myself, but the command is pretty clear.
    My 3 things? 1) I’m a child of God and He loves me – if He can love me, then so can I… right (she whispered with a convincing voice). 2) I love painting and write poetry just for His Glory. 3) When I fail, and I often do, I beat myself up about it and then I run to the one place I know I will hear the truth: To Him! I do like those things about myself. Perhaps the command goes deeper too: “as you love yourself” implies that we need to treat others the way we treat ourselves. Give yourself a mud-spa but then share it with your neighbor or maybe just a doughnut. But it also talks about forgiveness and I don’t know about you, but that is the hardest one for me to get along with!
    I love your honest writing and look forward to reading more. Enjoy the season.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, I too, have struggled to love my neighbor as myself. Feels weird to love myself, as well. It’s a work in progress. I love your number 1. Your number 2 makes me smile. I definitely appreciate your number 3. My problem is I direct my anger toward Him much of the time while I’m beating myself up, too, only to eventually come crawling up to Him, begging forgiveness for acting like a bratty child. Ah, and forgiveness. This is a new lesson for me. Well, I say new. I’ve been a practicing forgiver for about 6 or 7 years now. My daughter was 8 or 9 when I watched her forgive someone that was hateful and hurtful to her and she turned around and made that person her friend. I cried at such a beautiful thing and I wanted to be just like her. I ran into an ex-beau very soon after that and felt it was time to forgive him for what he had done to me years earlier. I had a 20 minute conversation with him right there in the parking lot and somewhere in the midst of it, I realized I’d forgiven him and his entire family. It felt amazing! Felt like I’d lost the weight of another person off my back. I realized then forgiveness is more of a gift to ourselves than it is for that other person and the thing is, we don’t even have to face or speak to the person who wronged us. We can just let it go. It gets somewhat easier the more you do it, thankfully. Thank you so much for your kind words! You are a blessing and I’m so happy to have made a new friend. Merry Christmas to you and your family. 🙂

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      • leneijapan says:

        Forgiving is hard… I love you “practicing forgiver” description and I’ll join the list. Forgiving doesn’t make the wrong done right in any way, but it makes our hearts heal and puts us right with God. So forgiveness is vital. So here is my thought to ponder: W-h-y is it so hard to forgive? (that could actually make a whole blog post… or a novel.)

        Liked by 1 person

      • It truly is difficult to forgive, depending on what the person did to you and how you feel about that person. It helps to think of all those things you’ve done wrong against others and against God and then think if we want forgiveness for those things, then we forgive others, whether they petition us for it or not. It helps me, anyway. Besides that, it does free us from a sort of prison. Holding on to that pain, anger and resentment is not good for our hearts nor our souls. I believe not forgiving is one of those things that lead to too much stress on our hearts, causing disease, strokes, heart attacks. If we heal the soul, we help heal the bod. I’ve learned this late in life but at least I’m learning. 🙂 You are sooo right! That would make a great blog post, or series of them or indeed, a novel. Hmm… Food for thought… I’ve been working on a book about depression and how God fits into it, not a religious book really but a sort of personal development and heal yourself book and help others in your life with depression (by trying to understand them) but I also like the idea of the book on forgiveness or blog posts. Let me know if this is something you might work on. I’d be most interested in reading that.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Allison says:

    Ahhhh, my dear Carol – YOU rock my spirit this day! I’m so grateful to you in this exact moment for your gorgeous words and how you served them up. So refreshing!! 😉

    I love your 3 things, so special to be part of a great family. 3 things . . .hmmm I like my writing, love my family and my blogging buddies! Wow, that feels good right.

    #BigLove

    Peace and light, you gorgeous thing 😉 XO

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh honey, you always know how to make me smile. I love you, my soul sister! You are toooo shweeet. 🙂 I do certainly adore my mom and kiddo. They are my light in the world, my rock, my joy, my mashed potatoes. Everything else good in life is the gravy. I call ’em my leetle mashed p’taters. hehe!

      I love your 3 things! That is pure awesomeness!

      I like my writing, too. I just feel I could improve, just like anything else I guess. Writing, for me, is therapeutic. I love to do it but I’m never sure how good at it I am. I do know I’d be insane without it as a creative outlet. Everybody needs one, right?!

      I love your writing, too! Every time I read your words, I feel healthier, lighter, empowered and more connected to the energy of other souls that share our richness for life and creation. It makes my soul hum. There’s so much truth to your writing and you should never stop.

      I love my blogging buddies, too, girlie!

      Peace, love and light to you, too, sister! You rock on with yo bad self. 🙂 xoxo

      Like

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