“Over the years, I have come to realize that the greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity, or power, but self-rejection. Success, popularity, and power can indeed present a great temptation, but their seductive quality often comes from the way they are part of the much larger temptation to self-rejection. When we have come to believe in the voices that call us worthless and unlovable, then success, popularity, and power are easily perceived as attractive solutions. The real trap, however, is self-rejection. As soon as someone accuses me or criticizes me, as soon as I am rejected, left alone, or abandoned, I find myself thinking, “Well, that proves once again that I am a nobody.” … [My dark side says,] I am no good… I deserve to be pushed aside, forgotten, rejected, and abandoned. Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the “Beloved.” Being the Beloved constitutes the core truth of our existence.”
― Henri J.M. Nouwen
Wow, how much I sound like Mr. Nouwen when it comes to believing in the negative voices! However, I don’t even need those other voices. I have my own and it can be plenty negative enough. Some days, I feel I love myself, even like myself. Other days, when things aren’t going so well for me, I tend to fall into that dark trap of my own inner voice – me, telling myself I’m worthless. I’m so thankful that I do have many positive people, things and places in my life that bring me much happiness, joy, encouragement and comfort.
Now, if I could just get to that place of a true self-love the majority of the time, that would be amazing. It’s great to have others that lift you up and love you and like you but it’s even more valuable to lift yourself up and believe – really BELIEVE you are awesome. Even amazing, talented, worthy of great things, you’re fun, intelligent and you add so much to the world.
How is it easier to feel the bad stuff about yourself? You can lift others up but not yourself. Why is it easier to believe the bad stuff and not more of the good, the positives?
Do you feel like you love yourself most days? Do you like yourself? What are 3 things that you like about yourself, about what you do or what you’re good at? This is not an exercise in narcissism but rather an exercise in self-love and self-nurturing. We need to believe in ourselves more.
Mine? Hmm. (1) I’m a good mom for the most part but there is always room for improvement; (2) I’m a good cook but there’s always room for improvement; and (3) I’m a good daughter for the most part but (I’ll say it again) there is always room for improvement.
What are your 3 things? Can you come up with more? If you come up with more than 3, you get a giant gold star!!! 🙂
Love you guys! Make this an AMAZING day, because YOU are already awesome! *smooch*